diff --git a/libervia/backend/plugins/plugin_xep_0353.py b/libervia/backend/plugins/plugin_xep_0353.py
index c7e9a170..29e311c5 100644
--- a/libervia/backend/plugins/plugin_xep_0353.py
+++ b/libervia/backend/plugins/plugin_xep_0353.py
@@ -86,9 +86,10 @@ class XEP_0353:
             "XEP-0166_initiate_elt_built",
             self,
             self._on_initiate_trigger,
-            # this plugin set the resource, we want it to happen first so other triggers
-            # can get the full peer JID
-            priority=host.trigger.MAX_PRIORITY,
+            # must run last: it takes over the jingle IQ sending (sent in the
+            # background once the proposal is accepted), after the other
+            # triggers have built the IQ
+            priority=host.trigger.MIN_PRIORITY,
         )
         host.trigger.add_with_check(
             "XEP-0166_terminate",
@@ -176,23 +177,37 @@ class XEP_0353:
         # FIXME: let's application decide timeout?
         response_d.addTimeout(2 * 60, reactor)
         client._xep_0353_pending_sessions[session["id"]] = response_d
+        await client.send_message_data(mess_data)
+        # the jingle IQ is sent in the background once the proposal is accepted: returning
+        # False takes over the sending, so the session id is available right away and the
+        # session can be cancelled while the proposal is pending
+        defer.ensureDeferred(
+            self._send_jingle_after_accept(client, session, iq_elt, response_d)
+        )
+        return False
+
+    async def _send_jingle_after_accept(
+        self,
+        client: SatXMPPEntity,
+        session: dict,
+        iq_elt: domish.Element,
+        response_d: defer.Deferred,
+    ) -> None:
+        """Send the jingle session-initiate once the proposal is accepted."""
+        session_id = session["id"]
+        e = None
         try:
-            await client.send_message_data(mess_data)
             accepting_jid = await response_d
-        except defer.TimeoutError:
+        except defer.TimeoutError as timeout_e:
             log.warning(
                 _("Message initiation with {peer_jid} timed out").format(
-                    peer_jid=peer_jid
+                    peer_jid=session["peer_jid"]
                 )
             )
-        except exceptions.CancelError as e:
-            for content in session["contents"].values():
-                await content["application"].handler.jingle_preflight_cancel(
-                    client, session, e
-                )
-
-            self._j.delete_session(client, session["id"])
-            return False
+            e = exceptions.CancelError(timeout_e)
+            e.reason = "timeout"
+        except (exceptions.CancelError, RetractException) as cancel_e:
+            e = cancel_e
         else:
             if iq_elt["to"] != accepting_jid.userhost():
                 raise exceptions.InternalError(
@@ -202,9 +217,24 @@ class XEP_0353:
                 )
             iq_elt["to"] = accepting_jid.full()
             session["peer_jid"] = accepting_jid
+            if self._j.get_session(client, session_id) is None:
+                # the session was deleted while waiting for the acceptance
+                return
+            try:
+                await iq_elt.send()
+            except Exception:
+                log.exception("Error while sending jingle <iq/> stanza")
+                self._j.delete_session(client, session_id)
+                raise
         finally:
-            del client._xep_0353_pending_sessions[session["id"]]
-        return True
+            client._xep_0353_pending_sessions.pop(session_id, None)
+        if e is not None:
+            # notify the application of the cancelled initiation, then clean the session
+            for content in session["contents"].values():
+                await content["application"].handler.jingle_preflight_cancel(
+                    client, session, e
+                )
+            self._j.delete_session(client, session_id)
 
     def _terminate_trigger(
         self, client: SatXMPPEntity, session: dict, reason_elt: domish.Element